By Bigfoot, Virginia Off-Road’s Most Grateful Tenant
Let me start by saying: I love what you humans have done with the place.
The trails are cleaner. The signs are new. The trash piles I used to trip over at Bobblets Gap? Gone. And I didn’t have to lift a single hairy finger (well, paw).
That’s all thanks to Virginia Off-Road’s Adopt-a-Trail program — or as I like to call it, Adopt-a-Bigfoot.
The Greatest Idea Since Fire
I used to think “adoption” meant taking home a stray raccoon. Now I realize it means humans voluntarily maintaining my backyard.
You show up with gloves, shovels, and positive attitudes. You clear branches, fill ruts, and pack out more trash than I can throw behind a log. I’ve seen crews so organized that even the raccoons take notes.
Seriously — it’s impressive.
I Tried to Volunteer Once
I even tried to join the program myself. I went to the VAOR website, found the form, and… well, it didn’t go well.
Apparently, you need opposable thumbs for typing. My attempt at filling in “Name: Bigfoot” just looked like “BBBBBFFFFtttt.”
Still, I consider myself an honorary adopter. I keep an eye on things, scare away litterbugs, and occasionally rearrange trail cameras when they catch my bad side.
Why You’re My Favorite Kind of Human
Before VAOR came along, I saw all kinds of chaos — muddy ruts, broken branches, leftover gear. Now? Clean trails, polite drivers, and even educational signage.
You people have made my home better than ever. Thanks to you, I can walk barefoot again without stepping on crushed cans.
Teamwork Makes the Trail Work
Your Adopt-a-Trail volunteers do more than pick up trash — they build bridges between communities. Hunters, hikers, off-roaders, even cryptids like me all benefit from your efforts.
And you’re teaching a valuable lesson: the outdoors doesn’t need ownership. It needs care.
When someone takes responsibility for a trail, they take responsibility for everyone who uses it. That’s stewardship. That’s kindness. That’s rare.
Adopt-a-Bigfoot (No, Really)
If you haven’t joined the program yet, I highly recommend it. Adopting a trail means you’re adopting every creature that calls it home — me included.
You’ll get official recognition from VAOR, bragging rights, and the deep satisfaction of knowing that your effort keeps Virginia’s wild places wild.
Plus, if you ever find a giant footprint in your adopted area, congratulations — that’s my version of a thank-you card.
Final Growl
So keep doing what you’re doing, friends. Keep caring, cleaning, and exploring responsibly.
I may be hard to spot, but trust me — I see you. Every time you haul a trash bag, fix a sign, or guide a new driver down a trail, I’m watching from the ridge, nodding in approval.
Because thanks to you, my home’s never looked better.
And if you’re ever out here late one evening and hear a deep voice whisper, “Good job, buddy”… don’t be scared.
That’s just Bigfoot, proud of his favorite humans.
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