Bigfoot

🦶 **Bigfoot’s Secret Trail Fundraiser**

“You Found Me! (Now Let’s Talk About Trails…)”

Hey there, human!

You ackshully fownd me!!
I wus jus out here mindin my own bizniss — keepin an eye on the forrests, makin shure nobuddy drives over a picnick table agin (it happen’d once, long story), an tryin to teech the rackoons bout “Leef Noo Trase.”
But sinse yer here… uhh I got a lil favur to ask.

See, my frends over at Virjinya Off-Rode are doin sum reel serius werk.
They’s out there protectin trails, teachin noo off-roaders how to wheel res… res… responz-uh-bly (that’s a tuff word).
They help vet’rins git back in touch with the woods thru that “Trail to Re-covree” thingy, an even run kiddo ed-you-kay-shun stuff so the lil’ ones learn not to feed squirrels energy drinks or drive jeeps in the creeks.

I’d luv to help more, but, uh… I don’t exackly got one’a them kred-it cards.
(Apparuntly “Bigfoot” don’t pass the bank peepul’s “verifried identitee” test… rude.)
Soooo that’s where YOU come in, fren.
If you make a one-time, tax-dee-dooktibul dona-shun,
I’ll send ya a lil’ thank u gift from my sekrit stash —
maybe a sticker, a badge, or sumthin’ with a suspicious amownt of fur on it…
(don’t ask where it came from… probly not a raccoon. Probably.)

🏞️ Why Donate to Bigfoot’s Secret Fundraiser?

Even Bigfoot knows… time to protekt our trails.
Hidin’ deep in the Blue Ridgies, I bin workin’ with them Virjinya Off-Rode folks makin’ new “Trail Sinz” an “Stay on the Trail” signs.
Yer dona-shuns go strait to makin’ tough, rain-proof signs that keep peepul on the rite path an outta my campin spot.
These signs don’t jus look purdy — they keep trails OPEN.
When off-roaders wander, landowners git grumpy… an Bigfoot don’t like drama.
By donatin’, you’re helpin’:
🪧 keep trails open
🌲 make landowners happy
🚙 teach good wheelin’
💚 an show Bigfoot some luv
100% volun-teery… 0% human footprints.
Join my sekrit mishun — keep trails wild, open, an clearly mark’d!

How it Workz

Use the form down there ↓
make yer dona-shun (it’s safe, easy, an 100% tax-dee-dooktibul),
an I’ll take care of the rest.
If I can figger out how this lap-top thingy werks again…
🦶 [Donayte Now — before I wander off agin!]

Joshua, the Direcktor don’t kno ’bout this, shhh… 🤫
But when ya donate here, I got a sekrit badge waitin’ fer ya —
an’ a lil’ “mini me” Bigfoot action figger fer yer rig!
He’s always blabbin’ how he shood take the wheel…
but I do sneaky stuff too, ya know. 😏

Once ya do, I’ll send ya a lil’ sumthin’ to say thanks —
strayt from me, Bigfoot.
Might be a tiny action figger…
might be a tree leef…
maybe some bugs…
or a badge…
I dunno, jus’ whatever I got layin’ ‘round the woods.

Sponser here… whatev’r ya wanna spare
even a lil’ bit helps keep my-me outta trouble. 💚

My Promise

I might be a lil’ hairy an’ not so gud with this tech stuff…
(broke 3 laptops tryin’ to hit “send”)
But I DO care — ’bout these trails, this planet, an’ all you nice humans out here enjoyin’ it.
Every doller helps pertect the wild places I call home.
So thank ya kindly fer helpin’ keep the trails open, safe, an’ bee-yoo-ti-ful —
fer off-roaders, critters, an’ maybe even one big, fuzzy, friendly cryp-tid.
— Bigfoot
(Offishul Spokes-Creechur of Virjinya Off-Rode)

My Secret Blog (Bigfoot)

Here’s a lil’ exampul letter an’ some gifts I’ll send ya when Joshua ain’t lookin’… 👀
Wuzn’t easy to make, lemme tell ya -, glue stuck in fur, paper blew away, raccoon tried to eat the stamp…
. . but I did it!

🦶 Bigfoot’s Secret Trail Fundraiser