By Bigfoot, Virginia Off-Road’s Resident Fuzzy Conservationist
Listen up, trail riders — this is Bigfoot speaking. You might know me from such classics as “That Blurry Photo Your Trail Cam Caught” or “The Shadow in the Fog at Bobblets Gap.”
Yes, I’m real. And yes, I live here — deep in the Blue Ridge. So imagine my surprise when a bunch of four-wheeled humans started rumbling through my living room every weekend!
Now don’t get me wrong — I love the sound of adventure as much as the next cryptid. But some of you could use a little refresher on trail etiquette. And who better to teach it than the guy who’s been quietly judging you from behind the trees since the Eisenhower administration?
1. The Forest Has Ears (And They’re My Ears)
When you’re out exploring, keep the noise level down when you can. I know that exhaust sounds great echoing off the ridge, but when you blast your subwoofers at 90 decibels, you’re not just announcing your arrival — you’re scaring the deer, the birds, and the entire Sasquatch population.
Pro tip: engine noises don’t bother me much, but karaoke over the CB radio? That’s cruel and unusual punishment.
2. Stay on the Trail, Please
You wouldn’t wander into a stranger’s living room without knocking, right? Same logic applies here.
When you blaze new paths off-trail, you’re trampling plants, compacting soil, and (more importantly) stomping through my snack garden. Do you know how long it takes to grow a proper patch of wild blackberries? Longer than your last oil change, I’ll tell you that.
Stick to marked trails. Virginia Off-Road has an interactive trail map that tells you exactly where to go — and, conveniently, where not to disturb my naps.
3. Pack It In, Pack It Out
Litter? Oh, don’t get me started. You think finding a good hiding spot is hard? Try tripping over an empty energy drink can in the middle of the night.
If you can carry it in, you can carry it out. My forest isn’t your trash can, and your granola bar wrappers don’t decompose in “Sasquatch years.”
Bonus tip: join VAOR’s Adopt-a-Trail program — that’s like adopting me, only cleaner and less hairy.
4. Respect the Locals
That’s me again, in case you forgot. But also the deer, the foxes, and that one raccoon who thinks he owns the trailhead. We were here first, and we’re willing to share, just don’t feed us, chase us, or blast us with your headlights like we’re on some sort of reality show.
5. Take Only Photos (Preferably Not of Me)
I know you’re dying to post “Bigfoot spotted near Bedford” on Facebook, but let’s be real: the lighting’s always bad, and I’m shy. Take photos of your rig, the views, or your cleanup crew instead.
And if you do happen to catch a blurry photo of me on your dash cam, please — at least tag @vaoffroad so I can see how bad my hair looked that day.
So remember, friends — trail etiquette isn’t just about rules. It’s about respect. Respect for the land, for each other, and for the big, mysterious guy watching you from the treeline with a cup of coffee and a sense of humor.
Be good stewards, drive smart, and keep Virginia wild. And if you hear a low grunt while you’re airing down your tires… don’t worry.
That’s just me saying thanks.
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